From caretaker to patient

As people age, many may experience declining health, decreased mobility, and increased reliance on others for assistance. While some seniors may be comfortable accepting help, others may find it challenging to accept assistance after years of independence. We will explore some of the reasons why seniors may resist help, the consequences of not accepting assistance, and strategies for encouraging seniors to accept help.

For seniors who have lived independently for many years, accepting care can be a significant challenge and may trigger an identity crisis. This is because accepting care may be perceived as a loss of control or independence, which can challenge their sense of identity. As individuals age, they may experience a decline in their physical or mental abilities, which can lead to a loss of their previous roles and identities. For example, a senior who was previously able to drive may experience a decline in their vision or cognitive function, making it unsafe for them to continue driving. This loss of a key identity as a driver can be distressing and may lead to feelings of grief or frustration. In addition to these changes, seniors may also experience changes in their social roles as they age. For example, they may retire from their job or lose a spouse or close friend. These changes can lead to a loss of social identity and may contribute to feelings of loneliness or isolation.

Given these changes and losses, accepting care can be seen as a further challenge to one’s sense of identity. It may be difficult for seniors to accept help from others because it can feel like an admission that they are no longer able to do things on their own. It may also challenge their sense of autonomy and control over their life. Furthermore, seniors may worry that accepting care will lead to a loss of social status or prestige. In some cultures, being cared for by others is seen as a sign of weakness or dependence, and seniors may worry about losing face or respect in the eyes of their community or family members.

Seniors may resist assistance is a desire to maintain their independence. Research has shown that many seniors resist accepting help because they fear it will lead to a loss of independence. A study published in the Journal of Gerontological Nursing found that 80% of seniors in their sample expressed concerns about losing their independence (Barnett et al., 2015). Many seniors have lived for years without relying on others for help and may feel that accepting assistance would be admitting weakness or loss of control. They may also worry that accepting help could lead to increased dependence on others, and a loss of their sense of autonomy.

Another reason why seniors may resist assistance is a fear of being a burden on others. According to the National Council on Aging, one in four Americans aged 65 and older falls each year, and falls are the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries for older Americans. Seniors who fall may require significant help from loved ones, leading to feelings of guilt or shame (NCOA, 2021). Many seniors feel a strong sense of responsibility to be self-sufficient and may feel guilty about asking others for help. They may also worry about inconveniencing others or creating extra work for their loved ones.

A third reason why seniors may resist assistance is a fear of losing their privacy. Seniors may worry that accepting help would mean allowing others to invade their personal space and potentially exposing their vulnerability. They may feel uncomfortable with the idea of someone else taking care of them or seeing them in a state of vulnerability.

The consequences of not accepting assistance can be severe. Research has shown that seniors who live alone and refuse help may be at increased risk of neglect or abuse. A study published in the Journal of Elder Abuse and Neglect found that living alone was a significant risk factor for elder abuse, with isolated seniors at greater risk of experiencing financial, emotional, or physical abuse (Dong et al., 2013). They may also experience social isolation, as their reluctance to accept help may limit their ability to engage in social activities or maintain relationships with friends and family members. In some cases, seniors who refuse assistance may be at risk of neglect or abuse, particularly if they are living alone and have no one checking on them regularly.

It is important to understand and acknowledge the impact of identity crisis. Caregivers and healthcare professionals can work to help seniors maintain a sense of control and autonomy over their care. This can include involving seniors in the decision-making process, allowing them to express their preferences and concerns, and emphasizing the importance of their input. According to a survey conducted by AARP, 75% of adults over the age of 50 reported that they want to stay in their homes as they age, also known as aging in place (AARP, 2018). It may be helpful to focus on the positive aspects of accepting care, such as the opportunity to maintain independence and stay in one’s home or community. This can help seniors see accepting care as a way to continue to live the life they want, rather than as a loss of identity or control.

Encouraging seniors to accept assistance can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can be effective. One approach is to frame assistance as a way to maintain independence, rather than as a loss of autonomy. For example, seniors who accept help with household tasks may be able to continue living independently for longer than those who refuse assistance.

One strategy is to offer assistance in a way that respects seniors’ privacy and dignity. For example, seniors who are uncomfortable with having a caregiver in their home may prefer assistance with tasks such as grocery shopping or meal preparation that can be done outside the home. It may also be helpful to involve seniors in the decision-making process about the type and amount of assistance they receive. Seniors may be more willing to accept assistance if they feel they have some control over the situation and can express their preferences.

Another approach is to help seniors understand the potential consequences of refusing assistance. Seniors may be more willing to accept help if they understand that doing so can help them maintain their health, prevent social isolation, and reduce the risk of neglect or abuse. It can be helpful to address any fears or concerns seniors may have about accepting assistance. For example, if a senior is worried about being a burden on others, it may be helpful to discuss the ways in which accepting help can actually reduce the burden on their loved ones by preventing health problems or accidents that would require more extensive care.

Overall, addressing identity crisis is an important step in helping seniors overcome their reluctance to accept care. By understanding and respecting the impact of these challenges, we can work to provide care that supports seniors’ sense of self and helps them maintain their independence and quality of life. Accepting assistance can be challenging for seniors who have spent years living independently. However, the consequences of not accepting assistance can be severe, and it is important for seniors to receive the help they need to maintain their health, independence, and quality of life. By using strategies that respect seniors’ autonomy, privacy, and dignity, and by addressing any fears or concerns they may have, it may be possible to encourage seniors to accept assistance and ensure that they receive the care they need.